Lily
by nauta iupiter
Summary: Love is like a delicate flower, and Hisoka's love for Tsuzuki begins to blossom in the roll of someone else. Set in the Devil's Trill Arc


Disclaimer: No, I do not own Yami no Matsuei. If I did, then Tsuzuki or Hisoka would confess their undying love for one another and get into some steamy make-out sessions. ^_^ Also, the scanlation that all dialog was taken from http://www.sakura-crisis.net I highly recommend the site, as they do wonderful work and without them this fic would never have been spawned. ^_^  
  
Warnings/Notes: Non con, bad lanuage, blood and gore, and Hisoka's POV; This comes from the Devil's Trill ark of the manga, which is closely related to that of the anime, so if you have yet to see it, be warned of spoilers.   
  
Pairings: Tsu/DemonxHisoka/Hijiri, with reference to MurakixHisoka  
  
"Lily: Lust"  
  
by Nauta Iupiter  
  
As he steps from the shower, I can feel it, the emptiness of a body with no soul. It's weird that what I've always desired, peace and quiet around other people.... around him... where no thoughts, no emotions scream through my head, is what alerted me to his possession. That idiot could never shield, though he did try. And, as much as I hate being bombarded by his feelings, I must admit, it's better than this blank mass heading toward me now.  
  
The swirl of warm concern, silly admiration, suffocating fondness, all of it embraced me in safety, but this icy feel of nothing sends a shiver down my spine.   
  
A flower without petals, a shell without a nut, Tsuzuki is gone, nothing more than an empty form.  
  
Idly, I begin to babble about the lights, my own voice so far from my ears, from my mind, all I know is that I am terrified. This isn't Tsuzuki. He's gone. This monster may do anything to me without reservation, who am I to stop it? Can I fight back? Can I really defend myself against Tsuzuki? No, not Tsuzuki, never my partner... my... But, it's not Tsuzuki... I find that I have to continually remind myself, if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to handle this.  
  
Just stare out the window, Hisoka, stare at the lights so far away, but whatever you do, don't look into those violet eyes, or you'll be lost.  
  
I can feel him watching me, lust and something darker rolling off his form, making me instinctively pull the curtains around me more tightly as though they could protect me.   
  
I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be here, in a room with a man who is possessed by a devil that wants to use me just like Muraki once did. It doesn't take an emapth to feel the predatory gleam in his eyes. Just one heated stare and all of the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.  
  
Please, Tsuzuki, snap out of it. Please.  
  
"Hijiri... do you want to repay me?"  
  
Suddenly, I feel hands on my shoulders, whirling me around and shoving me roughly back against the cold glass, reminding me that there is no place to run, that I am truly trapped here in this room... with this man who is my partner but isn't.  
  
As my thoughts wonder, despite my best efforts, he parts my legs and forces himself between, his arms now down around my waste, having slid there from their previous position. I don't remember him moving them, and yet the trail they must have traveled is still burning along my skin.  
  
It would be sensual, if the situation wasn't so wrong, if this was Tsuzuki and not some demon beast... if I was being Hisoka and not Hijirii... but mostly if we were more than partners, but we're not. Hell, I don't even like boys... not that, to be honest, I really like girls much either.  
  
Anyway, back to Tsuzuki. He had said something before, but I couldn't make it out over the roar of my own thoughts. My mind just won't shut up; it's as if it's filling in the void that would have once been Tsuzuki's thoughts creeping into me. I don't know why, but right now I need to hear something in my head, even this frightened babble, or I swear I'll go insane.  
  
"Huh?" it's the only thing that comes out of my mouth, eloquence lost as surprise takes over.  
  
Those narrowed amethyst gems rake over me, eating me with their gaze. I shiver and gasp as they lock with my eyes, the lust so evident in them. They're gorgeous but so empty, even the fire of passion that burns so brightly is overshadowed by the darkness of Hell.  
  
"Repay me from saving you from the demon..." he says in reply. His voice alone, rough and sensual, draws me further into his web, into his arms.  
  
Tsuzuki... you ARE the demon!  
  
"Ah..." the little gasp almost betrayed me, betrayed something even I have yet to realize I could feel simply from his touch.  
  
Forcing myself to do my part, and subconsciously to get away from the rocky area of my true feelings for my partner, I can do no more than annswer his question, my own voice shaky. "Of course. If I can do it, I'll do anything to repay you..."  
  
Anything,,, for you, Tsuzuki.  
  
"Anything...?" he whispers, leaning closer to me. I want to scream 'Yes, anything idiot!" But I can't, I'm paralyzed by his enchanting gaze.  
  
"Then..." he continues, but I barely hear him for he has pulled me from my protective stance by the window back against his chest, one hand holding the area above my hammering heart as the other slides slowly down my thigh.  
  
"... Give me your body!" he whispers into my ear, as his tongue darts around the shell.  
  
Oh kami-sama. It's sinfully good. It shouldn't feel this good!  
  
Without even realizing it, my hand has dropped to cover the one sliding now back up my thigh. I can't let it get higher, I don't want him to feel what he's doing to me, how this is turning me on. I'm not ready to admit any of this. It's too much, too fast.  
  
I focus my wide eyes on my hand, so pale and small atop his larger one, so fragile... fear picks up in me again as I remember that this isn't Tsuzuki, it's a demon... a very dangerous one at that. He could break me at any time.  
  
As if to add emphasis, to pull me more from my delusions, he adds one simple word, a word that reminds me of who I am, but more importantly who I'm suppose to be.  
  
"Hijiri!"  
  
He's turned me around again, to face him. Boy this could make me dizzy if this keeps up. But I can't muse long on the strange dance he seems to be preforming, because he's slid between my legs again, his arms around my back disrobing me as he returns to nibble my ear.  
  
"Wa... wait a sec!" I cry out, strong fear taking over more firmly ths time. It's all so much like Muraki and yet so different.  
  
I understand the lust, the murder in those eyes, I know that well, but I don't get what it's doing to me, how I crave his touch.  
  
But, I don't want this, not like this, even if it is Tsuzuki doing it to me... no, to Hijiri. That keeps coming back to me, even if Tsuzuki is somewhat in control of his actions, he's molesting Hijiri, not me. Gah, am I really that fucked up for being jealous at a time like this? I don't know anymore, I'm too confused.  
  
"Tsuzuki! Stop joking!" I choke out. Yes, stop before you break me. Stop pretending at something you can't promise.  
  
Please stop, Tsuzuki. I can't fight you, not like this. I can't save you... I can't even save myself.  
  
"Didn't you say you would do anything?" he asks again in that husky voice, mumbling the words against my skin as he slowly showers kisses down my neck.  
  
My resolve is crumbling, so I try one last thing. "But... I'm... I'm a guy! Go find a girl for that!" I know it's stupid, my partner never really struck me as straight. Yes, I've noticed the chemistry between him and Tatsumi... and yes... even I realize that his flirting seems a little too genuine. I AM an empath after all... these things are easy to pick up on, but, I'm desperate.  
  
He doesn't let up, repeating the demand as before. "Your body...." he whispers moving his mouth now down my chest. I can't control myself anymore. I want this, I want him.  
  
Gasping, I arch into his touch, no longer caring about anything but my partner and what he's doing to me.  
  
"St... op..." I whisper half heartedly. I don't think I really want him to stop anymore. I'm getting lost in his caresses, in his scent, in his breath... Tsuzuki!  
  
"Your life..." he says pulling back from me, his eyes wild like a madman. "Give it to me!!"  
  
And before I can even realize what's going on, before I can awaken from my lust filled stupor, he's pulnging a knife into my left side.  
  
Tsuzuki?!  
  
I can only look on in horror as he dismembers my body, gasping in pain and disbelief.  
  
Why? Why are you doing this to me? Why are you killing me so soon after your touch finally brought me to life?! WHY?!  
  
It hurts. It hurts so much! The breaking of my heart overrides the pain in my body.  
  
And, I realize as I lie there, propped against the wall, sitting in a pool of my own blood, that Muraki is right. Even to Tsuzuki, I am nothing more than a doll, and to cut my strings he has cut away my life... my heart.  
  
"So beautiful! Hijiri..." he whispers, as he kneels before my unseeing eyes.  
  
It's then, as the jealousy bubbles up again, I remember myself but more importantly, my Tsuzuki and this beast most certainly is not him. Blinking back to reality, I notice for the first time the massive wings that have sprung from my partner's back. He's so beautiful it steals what little breath I have left in me away. I always knew he was an angel... my angel.  
  
Tsuzuki...  
  
"Your smooth, soft white skin matches too well with the beautiful, red blood...." he whispers to me as he takes my hand in his. His touch is gentle now on my skin, so soft and the words he speaks are like poetry to my ears.  
  
I don't even feel it anymore as he cuts open my left eye, the eye with the fake contact to emulate the contract. I don't feel anything but him.  
  
"A full moon...." he whispers, licking the blade stained with my blood, my angel Tsuzuki.  
  
Despite the perverseness of it, those words make my heart flutter. It's as if Tsuzuki is reaching out to me, to Hisoka, not Hijiri. Perhaps, I'm just over analyzing, but... why else would he say those words so nonchalantly? A full moon would mean nothing to Hijiri, but means everything to me. Tonight is like the shadow of the past, when I was alive, and this happened to me once before, beneath a the blood red sky, and only Tsuzuki, Muraki, and I would know the significance.  
  
He gets up and walks from me to the door, leaving my bloody remains splattered there against the now crimson wall.  
  
"The contract has been completed..." He says barely turning. These are his parting words to me, I know. "Minase Hijiri..." And with that, almost mocking tone as if he knows I am not Hijiri, he's gone.  
  
My last thought before consciousness escapes me, is that I'll get him back, my beloved partner. I'll save him like he has saved me.   
  
Owari...?!  
  
A/N: I have 3 more chapter ideas to this in my head (2 for Tsu and an additional one for Hiso). Should I venture to do them or is it better as a stand alone?!  
  
The inspiration for this fic is that I was looking at the scanlation and the anime during the Devil's Trill arc, and it just struck me that Hisoka seemed really breathy and into it. It didn't seem like how he acts when Muraki touches him... granted he was pretending to be Hijiri, but still... I think he enjoyed the demonic Tsuzuki's amorous touches, it sure looks like he does (even arching into a few). Maybe it's just me who sees this *shrugs* but... whatever. ^_^ 


End file.
